The Grey is Apparently NOT About Aliens

When I caught a few seconds of the new Liam Neeson movie trailer, The Grey, I was excited. I thought it was about a bunch of bros out in Alaska who had to fight aliens to the death. Aliens in Alaska, or how to give Sarah Palin a conniption!

I was wrong. Everyone told me I was wrong, that no, this was not about aliens. I persisted, swearing to God I knew it was and they were just being foolish. Who would watch 80 minutes of men almost fighting wolves and being scared that wolves were out there? It had to be aliens. Again, I was wrong.

I thought this was going to be an epic film about aliens in the deep white dark, but no. It’s about a pack of grey wolves who are hunting some oil worker bros after a plane crash. I’m not terribly sure just why these man against nature movies are so popular; then again when you spend your life dwelling in urban terrain, maybe the appeal is a bit stronger.

“Deadly Wolves Are Gonna Attack, Imma Tape Broken Bottles to My Fists and Recite Poetry”

Barring the fact that wolves typically avoid humans, if you were about to square off in a battle to the death with a pack of wolves and you had a KNIFE, you would not spend time taping busted bottle fragments to your knuckles. Sure it makes a sweet 80s type montage, but it’s pretty much bullshit.

The ending was tightly wrapped up; after arming themselves, a poem is recited and you see the gleaming eyes of the enemy… some wolves. They could have done some CGI scenes of them fighting wolves, but most of the movie is about the suspense that leads up to the meh-climactic ending.

But Liam Neeson against a bunch of grey aliens? You won’t need to have an 80′s montage of him taping a knife and broken bottle shards to his hands! There’ll be more run and gunning than an after dinner session of Modern Warfare 3.